contributing to the economy, though somewhat unwillingly part 3b

So, at the end of the previous blog I'm in the waiting room of the Nigerian Embassy in Benin, visa documents in hand to get my visa for Nigeria, one of the few countries to border Nigeria, and thus one of the few countries that would give non-residents a visa to Nigeria.

Finally, I was called upon, and entered a bureaucrat's office that is typical of those outside of the economically developed world. The entire building is made of concrete, except for ceilings, thus the walls were bare painted concrete/plaster, decorated only with a small picture of the Nigerian President. A desk and chair for the visa officer, and two plastic deck chairs for visitors. This being an Embassy, the door was a very nice varnished wooden door.

Almost nothing on the desk besides a telephone and the specific needs for his task, a reciept book with carbon paper for triplicates, book with blank visas, official stamp, ink pad, and a folder with the visa applications of those who had come before.

He asked for my papers and after a brief look began to harangue me about the fact that there was no residence card among the papers. I told him that I'd been told that I didn't need that in Benin, that I could get a Nigerian visa without it. He said 'No, I couldn't'. Who told me I could?

I gave him some of the story I've told you, omitting, naturally, that I'd paid extra for a Benin visa. This had no impact on him. By the time he told me that I'd have to pay extra - the equivilent of a resident card - I had completely given away my position. He knew that:

1) I had an obligation to get to Nigeria;
2) I'd already invested considerably to get to this point in the journey;
3) there was a paid flight from Lagos to Kinshasa that would be lost if I wasn't on the plane, and
4) I had nothing authoritative to support my position that I didn't need the resident permit.

In addition:
5) he would lose nothing if he didn't give me a visa;
6) it was the end of his workday, and if I walked out the door as a bluff or to talk to someone else, he could easily call my bluff, and thus;
7) the tactic of just waiting for him to suggest an alternative or capitulate had significant limitations.

So, I was, and saw myself, through a combination of reasons, at his mercy - in a context where the only important thing had always been 'how much will this rich Canadian pay for this visa?'.

He set the price for the visa, I wriggled like a worm on a hook, and eventually paid 'the equivilent of a resident card'.

I got what I wanted, but because I had misunderstood the situation (and I'm not referring to the misunderstanding about whether the visa was possible or not), I paid more than I needed to. I'd told him my story to appeal to his compassion (those who know Nigerian bureacracy will be rolling on the floor laughing), but all I accomplished was to assist him in setting the price I'd be willing to pay.

I had broken several rules, learned in other contexts, but not applied here:
1) wherever possible, avoid getting into a position where I feel that I have no alternatives;
2) never let someone who can set the price know how badly I want what they have;

I so rarely get into the 'very few alternatives' situation, and when I have it has been in contexts where someone I know can bail me out. Usually, overseas, I'm in a position of flexibility, and just got up and walked - and got called back and accomodated in return for a small 'gift'.

To take this one level deeper, I am learning to be more assertive, more goal-oriented - and it's taking time to learn the skills that go along with that. If I'd been more assertive my whole life, I'd never have given away my position at the start of the conversation. I'd have walked in on the presumption that there might be trouble, and given the impression that 'oh, I'd gotten a whim to go to Nigeria, and had been told by the Nigerian consulate in Canada that I could get my visa here'. And I'd have done it early enough that I could have got up and walked.

Hopefully it won't take too much longer to get the skills necessary to go with adding this option in how to approach someone I need something from. Next up - Congo - where some of the things I want to do in-country will also have some of the same dynamics.

There's more in some of the fine details, that I'll talk about later.